Monday, August 25, 2008

In memoriam

Many of you know, some do not, but on the evening of August 15, Hurley was struck by a car outside of my parents' house and he did not make it.

Hurley was a unique dog, and attracted attention everywhere we went (and he went everywhere). His beautiful color, floppy ears, and adorable wrinkles caught the eyes of everyone he passed. And his outgoing and extremely loving personality won the hearts of everyone he ever met.

Hurley was more than a companion, he was my baby. Especially after this summer, with B gone for the past few months, it's been Hurley and me, together for everything. He was a huge part of my life. And I enjoyed spending time with him so much, that many of my days revolved around him.

Every day I woke up to Hurley's big head next to mine on the pillow, and every day at at lunch and every evening I came home to the happiest dog imaginable. Little else could make me smile more than his wriggling body and happy whines.

Those who met him know he was smarter than your average dog. He was my beach buddy, my jogging partner, and my walking companion. So on August 15, when Hurley died in my arms, a huge part of me fell apart.

Since it all went down, I've been a bit out of touch. Little by little, I'm pulling myself back together, but I still can't think of him without the tears. I still can't look at photos with that feeling in the pit of my stomach. And I still don't forgive myself for opening that door to let him outside that last time.

I miss him when I go to bed at night and he's not leaping into bed with me. I miss him when I get up in the morning and he's not there to beg for his breakfast. I miss him when I come home and there's no one there waiting at the door for me. I miss him all the time. I haven't yet been able to go back to our running trail, or walk past every day places without thinking of walking past them with him. Sometimes, it's even hard to believe he's not here.

I know I'll never have another dog like Hurley. There's no way another could compare. Not in his beauty, or in his personality. But B and I are pulling ourselves back together. Eventually, our hearts will heal. And if there's one person in the world who understands my pain today, it's B. It would have been impossible to love Hurley and not understand that.

So that's where I am today. As for tomorrow, well, you'll have to come back to find out.

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iconjohn said...

Feeling sad for you too! Mr first dog Flag looked an awful lot like Hurley in the 5th picture down. Same color but smaller. She lived till 15 but I had the same sad feeling when she passed in my arms.

Avitable said...

That's awful - losing a close pet is always so difficult. Sorry to hear about it.

Anonymous said...

i've been anxiously awaiting your next blog, but i didn't realize that it was going to make my tears flow uncontrollably. hurley will always hold a special spot in your hearts, and time will make the pain heal bit by bit. he was an amazing dog. the pictures you posted capture my memories of hurley perfectly.
b's mom

NorrisParkison said...

i read about this on the alpha software blog. my heart goes out to you.

The Jamisonian said...

This almost made me cry! He was beautiful. I hope you are feeling better and your new puppy is so cute.


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