Thursday, August 20, 2009

The what to wear to your own bachelorette party conundrum

This weekend is my bachelorette party. Tomorrow afternoon, all of my closest girlfriends from across the country will ascend on the Jersey Shore for a weekend of I'm not entirely sure what because they won't tell me but I'm gonna go ahead and guess that tequila will be involved. All I know is that my Man of Honor, Michael, has been planning FOR MONTHS. And I am trying not to squirt in my pants as I write this thinking about how excited I am to see my friends. Woopsies.

Especially considering what happened last time we were all together for what I've heard is supposed to be a proper event, but for us it was all bottles of wine and dancing and beads and falling into the drum kit and maybe a Philadelphia fireman or two.

But this week, every time I tell someone what I'll be doing this weekend, their eyes light up, and they all ask the same question. Not what are we doing, or who will be there, or even where are we going. Everyone wants to know what I'll be wearing. And I'm all ummmm you mean besides the drinks I'll inevitably be spilling all over myself?

And then I thought about all the accessories of the recent bachelorette parties I've witnessed in passing throughout bars in the city, which has only helped me decide what I won't be wearing: wieners, feathers, Miss America sashes, or a tiara.


So I thought about it. For days. Most often when I was supposed to be working. I'd be tapping away on a piece about greening your office space, but what I was really thinking was, Hmm ... green. I wonder if that green shirt is bachelorette party worthy? Because if you haven't figured it out by now, when it comes to this wedding stuff, I pretty much have no idea what I'm doing. Clearly, even dressing myself has become a challenge.

But then yesterday at work, as I was walking through the hallway one of my coworkers stopped me and was all "I LOVE that skirt. What a PERFECT party skirt." And I was all BOOYAH, BABY, DECISION MADE.

Please excuse the dirty mirror. And the weird lighting. And the dizzy angle. I took that on my lunch break, so obviously I was drunk. ANYWAY. I'll be wearing what B refers to as my Drunk Ass Ballerina Skirt. If Drunk Ass Ballerina doesn't scream bachelorette party, then strap a penis hat to my head and meet me at the bar because I owe you a blow job. The drink, assholes.

There is one, slight problem with Drunk Ass Ballerina Skirts though. Every time a good breeze blows, I suddenly become the most popular girl on the block.


But I figure, hey, I spend a significant portion of my time under the influence mooning people anyway, this will just eliminate a step for me. It's called resourcefulness, people. I have it.

20 comments:

BOSSY said...

Sooooooooo cute. Have a great time, girlie!

Meg said...

okay, so I've been reading your blog for a super long time, and I feel creepy for not commenting. So I'm ending the creepiness cycle now. Your writing cracks me up. Good choice with the skirt by the way, very cute!!

Hippo Brigade said...

Yes, wear the skirt. You have a tiny waist, and you need to show that sucker off.
I however wore 1980s madonna inspired lingerie, white lace gloves, white fishnet stockings, a veil and heels. But I had enough class to deny any penis stuff to be added to my outfit. Classy through and through.

Bridget said...

Woot! Here's to coming out of the creeper blogger closet, Meg! Welcome to the party. And thanks!

Jackie said...

PARTY TIME!!!!!!!!!! Have a blast-love your choice of the drunk ass ballerina skirt. I agree that it is very bachelorette party-ish.

Sole Matters said...

LMAO! I love it!! Great outfit! Remember to have lots of pics taken!

Bridget said...

@Sole Matters, I have a feeling evidence of the weekend will be all over the interwebs by the time I get home on Sunday.

Shann said...

I have a feeling I am going to see you and your drunk ballerina skirt dancing on stage at the OD at some point this weekend.

Shann said...

... that is the creepiest comment I have ever left anyone, ever. Ever.

the other Bridget said...

"what I won't be wearing: wieners, feathers, Miss America sashes, or a tiara."

hmmm. i'm pretty sure i wore a tiara at my bachelorette party. and it was planned by the very same person planning yours!

have a great weekend!

Jessica said...

Okay well I didn't stop you in the hallway, but I definitely complimented your skirt, so GOOD CHOICE!

And also, I just peed myself a little at the line "If Drunk Ass Ballerina doesn't scream bachelorette party, then strap a penis hat to my head and meet me at the bar because I owe you a blow job."

Amanda said...

ooooh have a great time! I can't wait for the post-bachelorette party post!

Deidre said...

Have a great time! That skirt is adorable - and you look SMOKIN' in it!

Kim said...

Hi there, first time reader. Ironically my bachelorette party is this weekend as well. I informed my MOH that I was not wearing anything penis-related, and I'm sure that pretty much guaranteed I'll be wearing everything penis-related.

Have a good time! The skirt looks adorable!

Laura said...

Have an awesome time!! I'm so upset I won't be there :( I do expect a detailed blog though and lots of pics!!

Denise said...

Oooh, ooh, ooh! Was that me who said that?! Because it will be perfect for this weekend! Have so much fun!

Bridget said...

It was totally Denise. Way to go, D. You pretty much saved the entire weekend.

Liz in Virginia said...

Love the Marilyn Monroe skirt; love the katty-waller photo angle -- do you think you can stand like that for your entire bachelorette party? If you do I'll give you a million dollars.

Emily said...

Not wearing weiners... puuh-lease. sometimes you're just soo silly.

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