The ultimate wedding party gift giving guide starring Cut Out and Collect

As you could probably tell, my Man of Honor and bridesmaids totally kicked some pretty serious arse. They got me crunked at my bachelorette party, kept me sane during all the wedding prep, and made sure that I didn't pee all over my dress the day of my wedding.

My maids are far from typical. I make it a point to surround myself with the most extraordinary people I can find. My friends are some of the most entertaining, intelligent, hilarious, and unique people I've ever known.

And my super group of six are the women (and man) I would turn to whenever, wherever, no matter what. I simply cannot fathom a life without them. In all likelihood I would, at this very moment, be napping in a pile of straw after a hard day of indentured service for a traveling Bratislavan circus that I had taken up with while trying to win back my left shoe that I had lost in a scuffle with a bearded lady. Luckily, things will most likely never come to that.

So to thank them and my soon-to-be acquired sisters-in-law for being there -- during the wedding and always -- I wanted to get them a little something as adorable and unique as they are. Clearly, monogrammed tote bags weren't gonna cut it for the group that has saved me from a potential lifetime of scooping bear poop.

I wracked my brain for a while, and then it came to me. I would beg the incredibly needle-and-thread-savvy Cheyne Little to help me. And she agreed! And I didn't even have to threaten to plaster the internet with all those pictures of her dancing around in her Joey Lawrence pajama set I took that night I got arrested outside of her house for stalking.

Obviously you remember Cheyne and her amazing Cut Out and Collect shop from our fun little Cut Out and Collect giveaway. Well, after a little brainstorming, and while I was all "well I want something totally versatile but also kind of classy so they can use it anywhere but also it has to symbolize each girl and I definitely want that Bling Bling Bitches sass but not too much sass and how about their names and if there is no action in the universe does time still exist and how long do I need to cook the macaroni, you know what I mean?" And Cheyne was all "totally." And we came up with the perfect project. We discussed colors, patterns, and embroidery options and then she set to work.

That's adorable Cheyne. And that's Lauren's adorable clutch before it became a clutch. Kind of like an adorable clutch fetus. God, I'm deep.

Within a few weeks, Cheyne had whipped up the eight cutest customized clutches I had ever seen in my life.

Each clutch was a unique color and pattern, and each had the first initial of the girl's first name (because if we've learned anything last week, it's that sometimes ladies' last names change) masterfully monogrammed somewhere on the front flap.


And because Cheyne's Cut Out and Collect prices are so reasonable, I was even able to buy each girl a small piece of jewelry and slip it inside their bag. And, of course, when I handed out the clutches at our rehearsal dinner, there was a collective SQUEEEEE that I think even partially deaf Uncle Bill in Maryland could hear. So the moral of the story is this: blah blah blah, Cut Out and Collect-4-lyf, bitches!

And don't worry, dear readers, that devilishly handsome Man of Honor was not given a clutch. Along with a "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" set of brass bookends (LoLzzZZ inside joke, ya'll!!1!), Michael got a customized set of cuff links. Inside one was a piece of a vintage map of Philadelphia (where we live now) and inside the other was a map of Scituate (where B and I will likely be moving in the very near future). You may commence crying ... now.

And you can find more just like them at the dlk designs Etsy shop.

Now, not to toot my own horn or anything, but if there were awards for giving the best gifts, I would totally have that shiz in the bag for this one. In. The. Bag.

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