Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Wednesday's Song of the Week

The only thing as close as good as a holiday devoted to day drinking on the beach/in a backyard/in a field to the point of belligerence is a holiday devoted to day drinking around a table to the point of belligerence and/or tears AND eating until you think you might vomit into the fireplace.

And speaking of belligerence, this is the first year that I'm not spending Thanksgiving with my side of the family and I'm a little nervous. My family is very big on tradition. Everyone gathers at the same place at the same time every year to drink too much wine and eat too much food and have lofty discussion on politics and religion and the new art flick and the old neighborhood and sometimes there are disagreements and always there is laughter and lots of hugging and kissing and drunken professing of emotions. That's just how we roll.

And gah knows I spend my days wracked with guilt for leaving my family in Philadelphia and missing all the lofty conversations and disagreements and laughter and hugging and kissing and drunken professing of emotions. Because I'm the only one who's gone. I'm the only one who's left. And that's not easy. Because my family -- my whole family -- is my life. And tomorrow -- while not spending Thanksgiving with my side of the family -- I expect that missing to be heightened to the max.

Me: I'm a little worried I'm going to get inappropriately drunk and cry at the dinner table.

My mom: I hope you do. I'm going to drunk dial you from our table just to let you know how much fun we're all having.

Then last night, I turned to B in bed.

Me: Will you do me a really big favor?

B: What?

Me: Put down your book, this is important. Will you promise to get inappropriately drunk with me on Thanksgiving?

B: ...

Me: I just don't want to be the only one who's making a scene. It would really mean a lot to me.

B: Siiiiiiggghhhh. Yes. I promise to get drunk with you.

Me: Inappropriately drunk. Like, really, really drunk.

B: Yes, I will get really drunk with you.

Me: I'm also going to need you to be overly emotional. You know how my family gets all lovey? You're going to have to publicly profess your love for me a few times.

B: I'm not going to be hanging all over you -


B: Fine, fine. I'll be drunk and lovey.

Me: Okay, thank you. It's a start. We'll improvise when we get there. I love you.

B: Jesus Christ.

So here's to getting drunk and lovey, crying into the mashed potatoes and eating yourself sick. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE!


the in-laws said...

we, the horne family, vow to get exceedingly drunk and lovey tomorrow. let the games begin!!!

the sisters said...

jessica, lindsay, and kiley say you don't know what exceedingly drunk is.
bring it on !!!!!

LaurMo said...

i dont want no lumps in my mashed potatoes, i want real cranberries in my cranberry sauce... i dont want NO CHICKEN POT PIE.
i miss you
i love you

rory said...

I'll get drunk and lovey and I'm pretty sure Miss Carol can't wait.
You and B have a really Happy Thanksgiving!


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