A very Yellaphant Oscar recap

James Franco in a dress.


And then I fell asleep.

But who cares about the Oscars when Charlie Sheen is now unleashing his Charlie Sheenness on the world like never before.

"I am on a drug, it's called CHARLIE SHEEN."



I just have one question: Who's a girl gotta talk to around here to score some Charlie Sheen? Because it looks RULL fun. Oh, Charlie. Chaaarlie, Charlie, Charlie. Charlie Sheen.

I have a strong distaste for Charlie Sheen, but I just discovered we have a lot in common and I am pret-tay excited. And by "a lot in common" I mean my new life motto:

“Most of the time — and this includes naps — I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordnance to the ground.”

And this includes naps, mothaflippas. But don't forget: The only drug Charlie Sheen is on is Charlie Sheen.

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