Friday, April 15, 2011

Conclusion: Neither of us are allowed to speak in public ever again

B: Can I get away with using the word "son?" Like, what are you talking about, son?

Me: No, I don't think so.

B: Come here, son.

Me: You're emphasis is all wrong. Lower your voice. Downward beat.

B: Let me tell you something, SON.

Me: Lower intonation!

B: What do you mean, SON?


B: You've got a lot to learn, son.

Me: You definitely do not have enough street cred to use this word. Toughen up a bit, get some more tattoos and start a couple bar brawls and then maybe you can use that jawn.

B: Use that what?

Me: That jawn.

B: That john? Like a toilet? Or someone who frequents prostitutes?

Me: No. J-A-W-N. Jawn. Like a thing. It's a word for anything. Like, pass me that jawn. Or, did you see that jawn?

B: I have never heard that word in my life. That's not a real word. You're making words up again.

Me: Look, according to Urban Dictionary it's a word that means anything and everything. Oh, looks like it originated in Philly. That's why you've never heard of it. You didn't earn any street cred in Philly like I did, SON.

B: If I can't use son, you can't use jawn.

Me: Totally using both from now on just to spite you.


Becky Mochaface said...

Ok, now you're just making shit up. But you know who else made shit up? Shakespeare. And some people consider him to be a genius. Just saying.

chris said...

dude, you inching on my vernacular, nahmean?


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