Conclusion: Neither of us are allowed to speak in public ever again

B: Can I get away with using the word "son?" Like, what are you talking about, son?

Me: No, I don't think so.

B: Come here, son.

Me: You're emphasis is all wrong. Lower your voice. Downward beat.

B: Let me tell you something, SON.

Me: Lower intonation!

B: What do you mean, SON?

Me: THIS IS NOT WORKING.

B: You've got a lot to learn, son.

Me: You definitely do not have enough street cred to use this word. Toughen up a bit, get some more tattoos and start a couple bar brawls and then maybe you can use that jawn.

B: Use that what?

Me: That jawn.

B: That john? Like a toilet? Or someone who frequents prostitutes?

Me: No. J-A-W-N. Jawn. Like a thing. It's a word for anything. Like, pass me that jawn. Or, did you see that jawn?

B: I have never heard that word in my life. That's not a real word. You're making words up again.

Me: Look, according to Urban Dictionary it's a word that means anything and everything. Oh, looks like it originated in Philly. That's why you've never heard of it. You didn't earn any street cred in Philly like I did, SON.

B: If I can't use son, you can't use jawn.

Me: Totally using both from now on just to spite you.

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