Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Bossy is making me fat and if I hear that song one more time I'ma smack a betch

Besides those little things like student loans and the economy and blah blah blah, a new need to save money has sprung up like Old Faithful and that new something is our wedding.

And while the idea of hoarding away thousands of dollars when its already difficult to hoard away ten dollars to buy a slice of pizza and a Diet Pepsi at the end of the week might have seemed outrageously daunting, thanks to Bossy's Daily Poverty Party, it's only slightly outrageously daunting.

And that's because I've vowed to cut corners. Because every dollar that I don't spend on me now, I can spend on me at the wedding.

But with the price tags of the reception and the hotel and the music and the dress and the rings and the invitations and the gifts and the weekend stay at the psychiatric hospital all swarming around my head like nasty little hornets who gang together and sing Sweet Caroline over and over in my ears and did I mention I hate Sweet Caroline, it's enough to drive someone to Elvis' Las Vegas Drive-Thru Wedding Chapel bat shit crazy.

So the first order of corner cutting business is taking place now, which is about the time of year I would usually take my running inside at my local gym where I give them armfuls of money so I can use their treadmills while I watch TV and walk around with people who drink powder muscle mixes and say things like chicks, man and let's pump some iron and work it, girl because it's just too cold for normal people to run outside because we all know I hate the cold the way some people hate boiled ham.

But not this year. This year I will just get fat suck it up. This year I will think of every excuse not to run outside. This year I will brave the elements and come out rounder stronger in the spring. Unless it's raining because I don't do freezing rain. Or unless the temperature drops below 20 degrees because are you out of your mind? Or unless I'm not feeling well because the cold is just too much.

So yeah. This is going to totally suck be a good experience. And all together, will save me approximately $250, which is really not worth it $250 more dollars I can spend on something important at the wedding. Like chair covers. Or something really awesome like that. Yeah.

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Brent Weichsel said...

Running outside is where it's at. and are you kidding me? Running below 20 degrees is great. Just wait until you get a early morning in the snow and then it starts snowing AGAIN it is awesome.

Well awesome until your hands turn blue but your so hardcore by that point you don't care.

that is until you get back inside an your flesh feels like its about to crawl out of your own skin and eat you.

but it is totally awesome and hardcore


Caitlin said...

Please inform your band that they are allowed to play "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" but that if they do there may be a hair-tearing scene at the center of the dance floor. Sorry, Bridg, I know it's your wedding and all but that song has no business being near my ears.

BOSSY said...

Who needs all that stale gym air!

As for the wedding: weddings can be so sweet with barely any money! Don't get sucked-in! Save your money for your honeymoon -- or better yet, life!

Wendy said...

I'm doing the same thing, maybe more walking, outside. I keep wondering how long I can hold out joining a gym since mine closed a few months ago.

I highly recommend eloping and having a great trip instead of spending big bucks on just a wedding that's over before you know it! We married in Belize and traveled around for a few weeks after. No stress!

B's sister said...

Better get used to Sweet Caroline because when we convert you to a die hard Red Sox fan you're gunna be hearin it a lot!


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