UPDATED: The ultimate test of my lack of self control may result in alcoholism or death. But not my death. Probably B's

I come from a Catholic family. I grew up with all the Catholic traditions. I went to Catholic grade school, high school, and college. I know what Lent is all about. Sacrifice. But when it comes to the Catholics, what isn't about sacrifice?

Back when I actually considered myself a Catholic, I never once successfully gave up anything for Lent. When I was younger I would throw around ideas like giving up candy or soda, but I'd abandon those after a day or two, if I even ever tried at all, because seriously? Jesus gives a shit if I drink this soda right now? I don't think so.

And all the teachers and nuns would be all Jesus sacrificed HIS LIFE for you and I was all woah woah WOAH I did not ask that dude to get up there and also what the freck does that have to do with this cookie I'm about to put in my mouth?

Over the years, my friends tried (with varying degrees of failure) to give up things like cursing, eating after the bars, and sex. Sex? FAIL.

When I was a senior in college one of my roommates convinced me to try giving up sugar completely for Lent. COMPLETELY. No sugar in our tea or cereal. No cookies, cakes, or candy or any kind. No soda. No nothing. My roommate wasn't Catholic, and at that point, neither was I, but we were up for a challenge.

I made it until about four days before Easter and then I broke because I just stopped caring. I stuffed a cookie in my mouth AND IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT.

Well this year I'm doing it again. B and I were discussing what we could give up yesterday, and he decided to give up cursing and I was all psh that fucking sucks for you, dude. Instead I'm going to try to give up sugar again.

Since yesterday was my last day of sugar, I went ahead and ate myself into a coma indulged. And then I had some real freaky dreams last night involving one small squid, a number of ferrets, and a coworker. And now all my coworkers that are reading this are like fuck I hope it wasn't me. Then today I woke up all jittery and apparently eating fist fulls of raw sugar before bed is a bad idea.

This will be a very long 40 days and I don't think B is mentally prepared to deal with the effects of a sugarless fiance because it could get nastier than it already is nasty.

I've been without sugar for seven hours now I can't even remember why I'm doing this.

There are three boxes of Thin Mints in my kitchen right now.

This is awful.

I better lose like 15 pounds because of this.

This will inevitably lead to alcoholism.

UPDATE (11:54): I am not using Splenda, Moira. CHEMICALS.

UPDATE (11:59): Unrefined sugars in fruits and vegetables DO NOT COUNT as sugar, Caitlin. You asshole. Tweet