Monday, March 9, 2009

This blog post was sidetracked by insanity, and for once, it wasn't mine

I had a whole slew of things that happened this weekend to blog about today. Like how B and I spent the entire day on Saturday in Jesus class so we'd be allowed to get married in the Catholic Church and even though B and I certainly aren't what anyone would consider religious, it's still something we I want to do because blah blah blah and besides learning how to communicate (which, by the way, I was already awesome at because I express my emotions so well all over the internet, like, every day), we also learned what a vagina looks like, I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING. Clearly, Jesus hasn't been reading Yellaphant recently because hello, vagina. And also, I'm still pretty sure I'm going to hell because I don't do things like paint my mother's kitchen enough and I say the word fuck way too often.

And then I was also going to write about how after this class, B and I went to a family party and as we tried to leave because we had a concert to get to, B realized HE LOCKED HIS KEYS IN THE CAR. Who the FECK leaves their keys in the car ANYWAY? And also I just said feck not fuck, does that count for anything? And when B called AAA to have someone come out, they told him that his parents cancelled his membership less than a month ago. But it's a good thing my uncle spent so much time breaking into cars as a teenager because two coat hangers and about an hour and a half and four beers later, he had the car opened.

I was also going to write about how after we finally left my uncle's house, we met up with Bossy and some of Bossy's friends to watch Bossy's brother rock with his band. And how that band rocked pretty hard. And then we went to another bar down the street where there was another band who was rocking a little bit less, but then Bossy's husband and Bossy's brother got on stage and fixed things up a bit. And Bossy was all this is Bridget she writes Yellaphant and Bossy's friends were all Yellawhaaaa? And when B and I finally stumbled home after a very long day we had no idea if it was 2 a.m. or 3 a.m. or maybe 8 p.m. on Tuesday.

I was going to write about all of that stuff. But then I was Googling stuff about running with your dog because I've started taking Rooney on some of my runs to get out some of his freak juice and I started wondering about how often I should do this, or how long is too long, or if maybe he's too young, or if I should buy him those little booties that I see this other dog wearing on the running path we use which are totally weird but maybe good? And then I found this picture:

And I got totally sidetracked BECAUSE WHAT THE FECK IS GOING ON HERE? I don't even have anything to say about that.


pj said...

Holy WOW. I was this close to having to do those classes, yet we went to an island and got married there and it was wonderful!

Lora said...

jesus locked your keys in the car as a warning to your eternal soul.

it's the only explanation.

seriously tho, i work with jesusfreaks and any time something inconvenient happens to me they tell me it is a warning from jesus. but you know what? their lives fucking suck, so i ask them if their daughter is on crack because of jesus or if their husbands are unemployed cheaters because of jesus. and then they say that god works in mysterious ways and it is not mine to question.

Bradford Pearson said...

The worst part about that picture is that the dog seems to be enjoying the ride.

rory said...

I need a pocket dog.
I would love to be able to strap Cutter and Tug to my butt and walk quickly and expeditiously instead of being dragged zigzag from good smell to better smell.

Kelly said...

Pre-Canaan classes rock. Just for kicks, take the natural family plannings ones as well. It's all about cervical mucus.

That dog's expression is totally WTF too.

kj said...

you lead an awesome life. so glad I can read about it here. you make me laugh.


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