Thursday, June 18, 2009

Who's got issues now?

I was going to write a snarky post today about how I CAN drag myself out of bed before 5 o'clock in the morning without the universe imploding on itself, but then yesterday I had one of those experiences with Back On My Feet that people hear about that inspires them to join an organization in the first place but that you didn't really think happened to everyone, just to the type of people who join the Peace Corps. Or that kid you knew in college who used to sleep outside underneath cardboard boxes so he could more deeply relate to the homeless. Or vegans. You know, those people.

So now I'm all mushy-like and my faith in humanity has been restored and I don't even care what you did in the past -- whether it be selling drugs or toting guns or stealing cars or skinning kittens to make tiny kitten coats -- today you are my running partner and we will get through this run together. And knowing that by running right now with you, maybe you'll find it easier to get up and do it again tomorrow, which might make it easier for you to stay committed to your program, stay clean, and get a job you can be proud of.

Yesterday I ran seven miles with a guy who a few years ago was selling drugs and buying Cadillacs with cash in Miami. Today, he's won't even touch a cigarette and he kept telling me how tough this run was, but it would bring him seven miles closer to his goal of 500 miles. Yesterday's run brought him up to 93 miles and he knew he could do it. Only 407 miles to go. CAN YOU WRAP YOUR HEAD AROUND THIS?

People have been asking me if I feel safe running through the city streets with homeless men, and the answer is absolutely yes. First of all, Back On My Feet isn't just going around chucking running shoes at that dude who sleeps in the doorway of the vacant building across from that restaurant with the really good pad thai. Second of all, I feel a lot safer with these guys than I would with most of the people who read this blog. Have you seen some of the stuff people have Googled recently? The top five search terms that brought people here last week were:

1. pants wetting at dentist
2. woman pooping at the office
3. i'm an alcoholic not a moron
4. very big fat men in his shower
5. touching my neighbor

YOU PEOPLE are the ones with issues. Sick, sick, sick. Oprah should totally do a show about whack job Google searches and what that means to our society going to hell in a handbasket and we're probably all wearing bras that don't fit right on the way down, and I would be an excellent source to go on the show and be interviewed and probably get a free car, because after blogging for a couple years, I know a thing or two about whack job Google searches. And boobs. Oprah, call me.

Anyway I'm kind of obsessed with Back On My Feet right now and I can't really think of a better fit for me to try to make at least one positive impact on society in my lifetime. After becoming of source of information and entertainment for all of these Internet perverts, it's the least I can do.

4 comments:

wekeepsaying said...

you're truly an inspiration to us all. well, at least me.

KLaw said...

You're hilarious! And I think what you are doing is absolutely wonderful. I strive to have that kind of dedication (to a cause and to running. Lord knows I can get about 5 blocks and my heart/lungs crash. I am the antithesis of cardio).

rory said...

Does it count if I'm up and awake and kinda thinkin' about y'all joggin' around?
I think maybe it does.

Anna said...

Wow the google searches! My faith in humanity was almost restored not too long ago... so much for that :)

PS left you some love on my blog! And your earrings should be arriving soon, if they are not there already.

Have a good weekend!

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