Wednesday's Song of the Week

I've been digging to Mayer Hawthorne on the local independent radio for a few months now, and I have just today discovered that this dude is white. Let me essplain. This guy's got the pipes and style of a brotha'. So naturally I was a little surprised when I YouTubed him today, and found this skinny white nerd with thick glasses and a squeaky clean sweater and tie set. Which of course, probably means the man can rage like a mothaflippa.

Unfortunately, the song I wanted to share with you doesn't actually have a video featuring Mayer, so fortunately for you, I'm going to share two.

Exhibit A:



Totally funkadelic, right?! Now, are you ready for this one?

BEHOLD: MAYER HAWTHORNE!

Is it racist of me to suggest that perhaps he's half black? I'm willing to bet it's the lower half. That's how he hits those high notes. I was just going to send out a challenge right here to Mayer to send me a picture to prove that he does not, in fact, have a giant black wein because the thought made me chuckle, but then I remembered that time in college when one of the boys stole one of our cameras and no one realized it until the next morning when we were looking through pictures of the night before and there was a photo of what we later discovered was a close-up photo of a male's tenders. And even though I swear I have totally gotten over all of my penile-fearing Catholic school girl issues, there is perhaps nothing that makes me want to blow chunks more than a close up photo of a male's tenders, you know what I mean? OH AND FOR THE RECORD, WE TOTALLY KNOW IT WAS YOU, FALKO.

Also for the record, I wasn't afraid of penises because of that whole Catholic guilt thing. I was afraid of penises because they were ugly. And also my freshman year bio teacher told my class there were approximately 3,000 calories in a tablespoon of you know what, and if you want to strike fear in the heart of a Catholic high school girl, just tell her it'll make her fat.

And just like that, this post has taken a totally unexpected turn and I really hope the in-laws aren't reading today but I bet they are so Hi, B's mom. Sometimes I swear I can't even control my fingers. It's blog vomit. One minute I'm talking about funky new tunes and the next thing I know I'm all BLAHHHH PENIS!

And because I need to change the subject really quickly, and you just have to see that white boy in action, I give you exhibit B:

Tweet