It's probably not going to surprise anyone here that I very easily become obsessed with things. I don't just like the things that I like; I luuurrrve them. Spandex pants, solid color ties, Party in the U.S.A., cheese, multi-lingual children, kiwi birds. I'm getting myself worked up with love right now.
Well guess what, world. Bridget Horne has a new obsession: FRENCH BULLDOGS. And here's why. When we were in France, there was a French bulldog on every corner. I shit you not. French bulldogs IN FRANCE. Everywhere. How hilarious is that?! They were all waddling along with their owners, without leashes, perfectly behaved, and -- get this -- wearing vests. VESTS! ON BULLDOGS!
Why else do I love French bulldogs so much?
1. They look goofy as hell. Kind of like if a toad and Gizmo from the movie "Gremlins" met; fell in love; knocked back a couple bottles of wine one night; made sweet, tender love; and nine months later had a baby child, that baby child would be a French bulldog, a la the adorable family portrait I created below:
2. They snort.
3. They remind me of my fifth grade teacher, Sister Marguerite.
This new French bulldog obsession has caused me to completely reprioritize my life. Whereas if you had asked me my life goals 10 years ago, they would probably have been something like become a veterinarian, get married, make babies, and buy a house at the Jersey Shore. If you had asked me five years ago, they would have been do well in school and don't accidentally get knocked up. Two months ago? Get a job. If you asked me what would make my life complete today, it would be this: Get a French bulldog, name him Jean-Luc Picard, and prance around town wearing matching tweed vests.
Kind of like how Meg at 2birds1blog spends about 10 percent of her day Googling pictures of pugs, I spend an embarrassingly large portion of my time every day looking up clips of French bulldogs on YouTube. Like yesterday, when I was so hungover I was convinced death was upon me, what do you think I did all afternoon? And because of that, my life has been irreversibly changed by this clip:
I mean, come ON. I know my dog is pretty much as awesome as they come and all, but that's so cute I think I'm going to puke. PUKE.