Wednesday, January 12, 2011

True love is: loving the bed sweater

There's a lot of things that people think of when you say the word love. The butterflies, little pink hearts, sweet kisses, blah blah blah. But for me, I think of some of the oft overlooked elements of love. The guy who takes the fall for your public fart, for example. Now THAT is love.

I've told you how over the past year I've become a chronic bed sweater. [On a side note: Could this possibly be related to the anxiety that exploded when I moved to Massachusetts? Hmm? COULD IT?!] I'll drift off to sleep comfortably snuggled in my bed and I'll wake up in the middle of the night wetter than a skantily clad spring break co-ed in a wet t-shirt contest. Sweat dripping down my back, my hair matted, my entire side of the bed soaked down to the mattress. Just plain ol' nasty. About as nasty as I assume one would feel after waking up the morning after a wet t-shirt contest on spring break.

When I wake up, I'm freezing. I literally have to towel off. I'll throw on a fresh t-shirt, but then I always come face to face with the sheets. How can I crawl back into a bed that is soaked with my own sweat? It's just ... gross. And ... cold. And that's when B will wake up and reach over to feel the sheets. "Sweating?" he'll ask. "Yes," I'll sigh. "You cold?" he'll ask. "Yes," I'll sigh again. And that's when he'll pull me into his clean, dry side of the bed, and consciously roll over into my cold, wet side.

Every time I sweat the bed, B gives me his dry side and spends the rest of the night wrapped up in my cold, disgusting sweat sheets.

If THAT'S not true love, then I went and married one sick, sick man.

7 comments:

Becky Mochaface said...

That has got to be one of the sweetest things I've ever heard.

Bridget said...

RIGHT?! Isn't he just the best?

Deidre said...

I am not going to lie, but he might be a bit of both.

It's very sweet.

rory said...

Ya'll gonna be married forever.
I'd do the same for Miss Carol but maybe I'd make the dogs sleep in the wet spot.
But I'd hold her.

Kels said...

As someone who also sweats the bed, THAT is the sweetest thing ever.

Ker said...

New follower and this post just cracked me right up. I have recently started getting "night sweats" and when I do, my husband calls my side of the bed the "sweat cocoon" - lovely.

He does not, however, offer to switch with me, so you're a lucky lady.

tokenblogger said...

Okay, that is a sweet story, but at the same time --- night sweats?

Have you been checked for pre-diabetes?

DIABEETUS!

I know! I am still going there.

Can't help it!

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