Let me take you back. Twenty-four years back. And let me introduce you to a woman most recently known as my mom.
But even before she was my mom, she was a nurse. And while working as a nurse at a local hospital, my mom befriended the other nurses on staff. And one of these other nurses was named
Donna.
Donna was a bit older, and after a few years of working together, she was like
lata, my beeotches, and retired. And it was pretty good timing too, because after she retired, my mom gave birth to me. And when the time came for my mom to go back to work, Donna
volunteered begged to babysit me.
Donna was married to a jolly old man named Gilbert.
Gilbert also loved shows like the
A Team. And we spent many an afternoon together in his chair watching the adventures of Mr. T. I think he liked the A Team so much because Gilbert was also a former army serviceman. He served in World War II after his brother had been killed at Pearl Harbor, and I like to think he could kick some major bad guy
arse when he was young and fit and had hair and all.
And this probably goes without saying, but Gilbert also loved me. But really, who wouldn't?
Besides learning all about the facts of life from
my boys Col. John "Hannibal" Smith, Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck, Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock, and Bosco B.A.(Bad Attitude) Baracus (otherwise known as Mr. T), I was kept busy with many enjoyable activities at Donna and Gilbert's house.
Such as spending time at the local swimming club with my favorite friend, O.J.
And decorating the house for the holidays with Donna.
And sometimes, we would leave Philadelphia, and drive out to the countryside to visit Donna's relatives. I always enjoyed our drives to the country because I got to spend hours of quality time in the car, buckled in the back with my pal O.J., and
because we always passed a Dairy Queen.
On the farm, there was even more exciting activities for me to stick my curious blonde head into. Such as feeding the horses.
And petting the barn kittens.
And meeting new friends.
I spent many good years at Donna and Gilbert's house. And while growing, exploring, and imagining, I learned a lot of very useful things, where things equals mad skilllllz.
Then, as life would have it, I eventually had to go to kindergarden. But I still saw Donna fairly often. We still took trips to the farm, and my mom and I would often stop by Donna and Gilbert's house for a visit.
While I was gallivanting through the great green pastures of college in Baltimore though, Donna and Gilbert moved out to the country. Way out.
Horse and buggy out. It got difficult to plan visits out to Farawayfromthecity, Pa., and a few years slipped by before I knew it.
Gilbert has since passed away, and my mom and I have renewed our visiting efforts. We took one such visit this past weekend. Because Farawayfromthecity, Pa., is so far away from the city, we needed some serious MapQuest action to find our way.
Only MapQuest couldn't find Donna's address because apparently it's so far out in farm land that the roads aren't formally registered on
any maps. So MapQuest was all
turn left here, turn right here, take this exit, GOOD LUCK, SUCKAH.And while I drove up and down these country roads looking for a familiar tree or fruit stand that would lead me to Donna's road, I came across some very interesting things. Such as lots of cows, and fields, and people driving buggies.
And while I was driving past one such horse and buggy on a particularly narrow, road I was all
omgomgomgI'mGonnaSpookTheHorse
omgomgI'mGonnaKillTheseAmishPeople
omgomgomgHandsAtTenAndTwoHandsAtTenAndTwo.And my mom was all
omgomgDon'tSpookTheHorse
omgomgomgDon'tKillTheseAmishPeople
omgomgSlowDownYouDriveTooFastomg.
We eventually found our way to Donna's doorstep, where we were greeted with many hugs and kisses and
glad you finally made its.
Donna is now 88 years old, and the woman is still kickin' it. She tells stories about her equally elderly neighbors giving her
guff and how she doesn't need anyone telling her when she needs to enter assisted care and how as she gets older she has sneaking suspicions that she will, in fact, be going to hell. Welcome to the club, sistah.
And despite the fact that 88-year-old Donna now uses the assistance of a walker -- that she doesn't
need, she just
uses because she has it -- Donna is moving out of her current 55 + community to move to a more
independent 55 + community ten minutes down the road that
doesn't boss you around so much.
And her new house happens to be right next door to her and her friends' favorite restaurant, The Bread of Life. You know you're not in Philadelphia anymore when ...
But before Donna can move, she has to pack up her entire house, which seems to have given her a new lease on life. Because there is certainly a lot to pack. Like her entire collection of figurine shoes, and her entire collection of decorative cows, and her entire collection of decorative
cocks roosters.
While at Donna's we talked for hours, enjoyed delicious country lunch, took a driving tour of the local farm land, and talked some more. We even met some locals. And let me tell you a little about the locals. They do all these strange things like say hello to you out of the blue, and wave to you as you drive past in your car, and even invite you into their new house for a tour. Huh?
All in all, we spent a wonderful day with a great woman who still has a lot of spice. And I can't imagine spending our day in any better way. And after this little summer time taste of country living, I'll hopefully be partaking in dabbles of a few more seasons. It's not so bad hanging out in a place where the air smells fresh, the people say
have a good day and mean it, and you can always get a hearty country meal from the Bread of Life. WTF.
Also, when you drive past people on the road, they all WAVE at you. Like they're happy to just SEE you or something. What is UP with all the niceness?
And apparently a restaurant named The Bread of Life would be a big hit in a town like this because that's the type of town this is. And Donna explained that it's really quite delightful because while you eat, there are hymns playing over the speaker system and all different kinds of religious paraphernalia hanging from the walls and no comment. And also no comment. And really, no comment.
