Monday, October 13, 2008

Everything I need to know in life I learned at BlogHer D.C.

Today is the first day of the rest of my blogging life. For I have just returned from the BlogHer D.C. Conference, and I have seen the light. And by the light, I mean some pretty rocking lady bloggers.

Because BlogHer is all about the ladies. Ladies with babies. Ladies in scrunchies. Ladies in glasses. Ladies who cook. Ladies who who can kick your arse. And me.

We spent the day learning everything blog. There was something for everyone, from the newbs to the pros. And there was something about everything, from finding our blogging mojo to building our blogging community and taking over the world changing the world.

One of the topics I was most interested in was learning how to drive more traffic to my blog. Kristen King, blogger extraordinaire and the lady behind InkThinker, noted in passing that the post that drove the most traffic to her site was slightly controversial, and many of the commentors just wanted to let her know how much of a heinously outrageous moron they thought she was.

Conclusion: Making people angry builds blog traffic and sparks discussion. So without further ado ...

I don't like your shirt. Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint roller. Your political opinions are asinine. I just let your cat out of the house on purpose. Your baby is ugly. I hate your new glasses. You're clearly an idiot. And I made out with your dad last night. Twice.

Please discuss.

I also picked up some other pretty valuable tips, which will hopefully help me win back some readers after everyone whose dads I made out with last night stops reading Yellaphant forever and sets my apartment on fire.

But perhaps my favorite part of all was being able to spend my day in a room filled with women oozing with ideas and excitement about blogging. There are ladies writing blogs for women, like Betty Confidential; staying healthy, like Get Better Health; cooking, like Coconut and Lime and Andrea's Recipes; social media, like Jill Foster; shopping, like A Girl Must Shop; being a mom, like Mother Tongue, My Party of 6, Resourceful Mommy, Banana Blueberry, and Wine Please; organic living, like the Whole Gang; and being green, like The Green Parent, to name a few. And I mean to name a few. We could be here all day, people. Don't try me. Please don't, I'm tired.

BTDubs, can you pick up the amount of Mommy Bloggers that were there? Because there were a lot. I mean A LOT. I knew something was a little different when I rushed to the Playtex booth thinking I was about to sweep the whole table and stock up on free tampons and then impress everyone with my resourcefulness for not having to buy tampons for the next year on my weekly Bossy's Poverty Party. But they were giving out baby bottles. So watch out world, ladies are having babies and they are telling stories about it, which is awesome, but ya'll owe me some tampons.

And as I get to know a lot of these women better through their writing, I'll be sure to share and spread some love here on Yellaphant. Because besides hate mongering and making out with dads, Yellaphant is all about the love.

P.S. Many thanks to Julia for a cozy place to stay and a nice night out in D.C. If you're hungry for some hospitality in the D.C. area, Italian Mother will fill you up right. Literally. I was so stuffed I almost puked.

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C. M. Drinkut said...

eheewww, my dad asked me to tell you he said, "hey".

And, really - I'm glad to you let the cat out maybe it'll find some cars to play with.

Also it sounds like BlogHer was gnarly. But what gives?, why so female focused? I like blogging, I need to know too.

Thanks for sharing the bits of wisdom, and please know, despite what you may say, my shirt is rad.

rebecca said...

It was great meeting you yesterday, even if we only got to talk for about 30 seconds. This post gave me a good laugh, thanks :-)

The number of mommybloggers was amazing, wasn't it? I, too, was sad to be offered a baby bottle. It was a nice change of pace from being the only woman at a tech event and being berated at lunch about how women need to accept that they have no place in the media because they need to be home watchin' the babies and cookin' dinner.

Happy blogging!

David R. Darrow said...

Be very glad your baby cannot blog...

Sue @ My Party of 6 said...

You need an award for this post! Awesome! I dying laughing about the tampons - I am done with baby bottles, so I could use some tampons too! (Next time.)

And may I just say, thank God for PBS, because my kids are going to sit here and watch it while I go read your archives!

Hope we find ourselves on the same cloud again soon.

Rock and Roll Mama said...

Oh you just made me laugh so hard...and yeah, my dad says hey. And my mom says "Wench!" There, that was totally controversial, yes???

Thanks for stopping by my spot, and I will definitely be back here. That was an amazing day of non-stop energy- and cookies. My gawd were those peanut butter cookies good.:)

The Cotton Wife said...

What a coincidence because I was totally mackin' on YOUR dad last night.

I just came here to tell you that I laughed so loud at this:

"When I mug people, I mean if I mugged people..."

that I woke up all the daycare kids from their nap. So thanks a bunch, lady!

Julie Ryan Evans said...

hey there, I agree it was a great conference and so great to meet so many fab women bloggers. adding you to my reader, and please let me know if you ever want to submit anything to Betty :)

BananaBlueberry said...

Thanks for the shout out! I loved your post and I'm so psyched about the womanly world of blogging too! I'll be back- I wish I could have gone to that cool concert.


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