Tuesday, February 17, 2009

UPDATED: I've been ShamWowed

Have you seen this infomercial?

It's for the ShamWow. And besides being completely flabbergasted by this dude's need for a headpiece microphone because when I see headpiece microphones, I expect a boy band crazed song and dance routine that involves lots of hip thrusting because who doesn't love hip thrusting? I was also amazed at this willingness to go on national television with a fauxhawk because really? Fauxhawk? In America? Dude.

But besides all that, when I saw the power of the ShamWow I was Shamazed because I want to use that thing that can clean up all those things because who wouldn't want to clean up that gallon of spilt milk with a single cloth?! How does it DO that?

So the other day at work, a few people were discussing scary infomercials like that one with the cross that you can look through and see a Bible verse or the day you're going to die or your dead cat or something like that? And someone at the table brought up the ShamWow and I was like confessions: I want that. And that very day, when I opened up my mail I had a package from a "secret admirer," otherwise known as B's mom, AND IT WAS FILLED WITH SHAMWOWS. And the weird part is, until that morning at work, I had never even said anything out lout about a ShamWow IN MY LIFE because what type of 24 year old talks about ShamWows? Better yet, what type of 24 year old writes about them? A very sad one, that's who. It's like B's mom is a ShamWow clairvoyant. Or she sees random infomercials on television and knows I love random cleaning products and is it sad that I asked for a vacuum cleaner for my last birthday? So the fact that I got a bag full of ShamWows for Valentine's Day? Seriously awesome.

Also, while searching for a good picture of the ShamWow dude, I came across a lot of photos of frat boys who peed their pants and some cross dressing stage performer who goes by the moniker Sham WOW and I think that's an understatement. Also he looks a lot like my neighbor and if it is, I hope that's not my underwear he's wearing and if it is, then you can just keep them, dude.

Updated: So apparently I have told people that I want a ShamWow before. I just don't remember. On a totally unrelated note, who wants another glass of wine?

11 comments:

hippo brigade said...

Is it weird that I want to kick the shamWow guy in the man parts when I see him?
He makes it hard for me to want to buy an incredibly absorbent cloth, even thought I think I could desperately use the shamWow. And yeah, what's with the microphone? You're doing a filmed commercial, the camera crew is holding a boom, you don't need a backstreet boy microphone.
Now I want to kick him in the man parts and the shins, that's how much I loathe.

B's sister said...

Not true! When I was there for my interview you were all "You know you're old when you see commercials like this and you want to have the thing they're selling!" and it was ShamWow. So I ran home and told my mother and then we hatched a valentines plan to get you the uber towels!

B's sister said...

Also I just got a snuggie from a friend who got it for V-day and didn't want it... It's amazing

Leslie MacDonald said...

But the question is--do the shamwow towels work as amazingly in real life as they do on tv? I need to know if it's worth buying them!!!

Bridget said...

I do not even ever remember saying I wanted a ShamWow. That's a pretty impressive memory you've got there, jess. Love it.

Talia said...

Swimmers use similar shammy things to dry off after a race--they are incredible.

On a related note, I want a Snuggie for my birthday. Just sayin.

And that Bible cross thing is so effing freaky.

tinsenpup said...

You know, that guy really does look like he might be wearing women's underwear.

3continentfamily said...

Catching up with your blog has been the best medicine for this bedbound girl :) That guy. That hair. Shamazing...

RuthWells said...

My obsession with Shamwow has been publicly documented on my blog for all to see. I'm so jealous!!

lori said...

We have the ShamWow at home and we use it to dry the dog off after he comes inside when its rainy/snowy. It works wonders! Although I don't know if I'd try it with poop... Also, until this post, I always thought it was called the ShamWoof (I know, really?) since I never saw the infomercial and we use it to dry Chance... Oh my mind, playing tricks on me again... sham WOOF! Boom. Roasted.

coffee said...

the only thing better than the ShamWow is the Shamwow song

LinkWithin

Blog Widget by LinkWithin