Google Ads is selling my dog

Today I got an e-mail from Phil, who in case you haven't noticed, sends me the best Yellaphant e-mails about things like elves and cookies and kiwis and New Zealand and your mom. And today's e-mail subject was Google Ads is selling your dog, so I knew it would be another good one.

And inside the e-mail was this:

THIS is the ad that Google provides your blog with.

Let's take a closer look, shall we?

So apparently there's a market for dogs actively eating poop. Really, Google? What's unclear here is who's poop they're eating. Is it their own poop? Other dogs' poop? Or my poop? Or do they mean they're selling poop that eats dogs? Because that's also a possibility and quite frankly it's terrifying. Or are they selling my poop eating dog for me because clearly, dogs eating poop isn't on top of my list of Things That Are Awesome. Or did they just know that after a long day of work, nothing makes me laugh quite like the word poop?

Personally, I don't want my dog eating anyone's poop because we all know what went down the last time that happened because B is still recovering and sometimes I still hear him crying in the shower when he thinks I'm not listening.

I'm also thinking I should have monitored my Google Adwords a bit more closely when I was so often talking about things like my va jay or my panties snatching neighbor problem because there's no telling what kind of totally awesome things they were hawking then. But I bet they were amazing.

I also think I should get a bonus check or maybe a free exotic trip from Google if someone buys the dog eating poop off of Yellaphant because what kind of person wants a dog eating poop? A Yellaphant person, that's who. You're welcome, Google Adsense. You're welcome. You know where to send my check and/or travel voucher. Tweet