Since it's Earth Day and all I've been looking up some cheap and easy ways to use the stuff I already have lying around my apartment to help me be more green. I think I do a pretty good job as it already is -- I don't own a car; I walk to work; I never leave electronics, toasters, or cell phone chargers plugged in; I try to use as little water as possible when washing dishes; I don't turn many lamps on; blah blah blah -- but I'm sure I could be doing a lot more just by making little adjustments.
Lora at Jakezilla always has a lot of cheapie little ways to re-use the things you have to make even better things that maybe you want, just like she has in today's Earth Day post. But then I got distracted when I read that MY DAILY MOISTURIZING ROUTINE IS SLOWLY KILLING ME and HOW THE FECK DID I NOT KNOW THAT PERTROLEUM OIL IS MADE OUT OF PETROLEUM? Really, I never put that together? Am I retarded? I mean, I might as well be BATHING in fossil fuels. I use my Vaseline for EVERYTHING. Chapped lips, eye makeup remover, skin healer. And I slather my legs in baby oil every day after I shave because the name BABY OIL on the label with the cute little picture of a BABY made me think that it was safe for BABIES.
Turns out "mineral oil is a clear, liquid oil with no scent and will not spoil" and also by the way it's FECKING POISON. So it looks like I can stop wasting my time Googling ways to make homemade poison for the day that I snap and kill everyone in my office because I already have it. In fact, I JUST RUBBED IT ALL OVER MY BODY. I feel so betrayed. Happy Earth Day. Unplug your cell phone chargers, assholes.