The Pittsburgh highlight reel

1. Girls weekend. Plus the fact that my three senior year roommates and I haven't been together all at once in the same place since graduation. Which, if you're reading this and you haven't graduated college yet, you should take as a warning that graduation is pretty much the worst thing that will EVER happen to you. That or ripping your asshole during childbirth, and DID YOU KNOW THAT WAS EVEN POSSIBLE? Because before this weekend, I didn't. Awesome.

2. Saturday we were outside all day gardening, which was probably one of the best ways I can think of to honor the memory of Mojo's mom. I don't know a thing about gardening except that flowers are pretty. But I was pretty content to move dirt around all day with a shovel, which, it turns out, I'm pretty good at. And I'd say that's a pretty good thing to be good at, in case I ever need to bury things. Like treasure. Or B's body.

3. The fact that Katya, who has been living in Europe for the past two years, came to Pittsburgh for the weekend. Also, after living back there for a while, she has gotten decidedly more British and totally walks around using words like mates and uni and what are you going on about? She's also decidedly just as loud. And that's pretty fooking loud. Even her e-mails are written in all caps. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO ALWAYS READ E-MAILS WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS? It's loud.

4. Saturday night after tapas and sangria, we went dancing. I'm talking on our feet, jumping, twirling, and swinging from midnight until 5 a.m. to some pretty fantastic music. Like Chromeo. That's five hours of dancing, which is pretty much the same thing as running a marathon. Which I'm now pretty confident I could pull off. If I was drunk. I mean, like, totally shitfaced. Because if I start the race off with some coffee and whiskey just like we did Saturday night, then follow that up with a steady stream of PBRs and maybe a shot and wash it all down with some home made beers, I'd totally have it in the bag. In. The. Bag. WATCH OUT KENYA, I'M DRUNK.

4.5 See yesterday's post.

5. Tobias Funke. Okay it wasn't actually Tobias, but it totally looked like a hipster version of David Cross. So when I flipped out on the dance floor because oh my gah Tobias Funke dances in Pittsburgh, it wasn't that far fetched. Except when I called B to tell him Tobias Funke was sweating out some heavy beats right next to me he was all what the feck are you talking about? What time is it? Are you high?

6. The fact that the DJ told everyone to take off their pants. And they actually did. But sometimes it's a little awkward dancing next to someone in tighty whities. Especially when he looks like Tobias Funke.

7. When you've been drinking for more than 12 hours with some of your best girlfriends in the world, you will dance to pretty much anything with a beat. Which kind of explains why we lost our shit to ABBA's greatest hits some time around 4 a.m. Plus the fact that ABBA is awesome. And also at that point of the night, I'm pretty sure we were all screaming the words to different songs at the same time because no one really knew the lyrics anyway so essentially we were just jumping up and down yelling. Which also explains why, two days later, I'm still having trouble walking.

8. On the way to the airport a few hours after we went to bed, we almost had to stop the car on the highway so Katya could throw up out the window. But we didn't. Which means I still hold the record for most awkward vomit in a public place. Which, if we're talking titles to be proud of, probably won't get me much. VOMIT QUEEN, YA'LL.

9. Now I totally have ABBA's "Dancing Queen" stuck in my head except instead of the words "dancing queen," it's "vomit queen." I have GOT to remember that the next time someone vomits out a car window.

10. SEE THAT GIRL, WATCH THAT SCENE, DIG IN THE VOMIT QUEEN. Tweet