Monday, October 26, 2009

Bridget's Emotional Roller Coaster: Signs of a Mental Breakdown and/or a Case of the Crazies

I'm sorry for the infrequency of my posts towards the end of last week. Remember in the beginning of the week, on my birthday, when I was all "I am totally in control of my emotions in regard to leaving all of my family and friends and moving 350 miles away?" Well approximately 6.5 hours later, I was writhing around on my parents' kitchen floor because WHYYYY GAAAAAAH? Which was promptly followed by more writhing and a couple tears on my living room couch. Which was then followed up by a good two days of me telling B that he not only ruined my birthday, but the entire rest of my life. Soooooo ... yeah.

But it's a new week and we are turning to a new page in the book of "Bridget's Emotional Roller Coaster: Signs of a Mental Breakdown and/or a Case of the Crazies." Let's see what this week has in store, shall we?

But don't get me wrong. Last week wasn't all bad. B and I opened our first joint checking account at the bank so we could deposit the wedding loot. Plus 10 points for post-wedding productivity! And it also felt pretty good to knock out a ton of our thank you cards. Ten more points! And then, I took a little trip down to the Social Security office and had my last name officially changed. Eighty points! Woot woot! Because now that the government recognizes me as a crazy old married bat with a tendency for dramatics, it must be for reals. AND our wedding pictures came in! Oh and also? Saturday was the four-year anniversary of the night we went on our first date. And the four week anniversary of when we got hitched. So we went out! To dinner! And drinking!

In other news from Things I Did Last Week, I got another tattoo. On Wednesday night my friend Lauren and I took a ride over to our favorite tattoo parlor in the city. There's just something about this place that I really enjoy. Maybe it's the thousands of tattoo options on display. Or the tattoo-esque signs painted all over the walls. Or the shop's proclivity for gypsy/fortune teller/carnival decor. Or the fact that every tattoo artist is almost entirely inked themselves. And there's just something about a rolled-up flannel shirt revealing two very tattooed forearms that gets me all uppity. Uppity in a totally platonic way. I'm a married woman now, people.

ANYWAY. I have a solid belief that for some people, the more ink they have tattooed to their body, the higher their levels of sass rise. Because our two artists had plenty of both. And they were awesome. My guy? The total twin of Geoff from Ace of Cakes, minus the baking ability (I assume), plus about 100 tattoos.

And because I have an overwhelming desire to be liked by anyone my twisted mind deems as "awesome," I wanted to make sure Tattoo Artist Geoff thought my tattoo was going to be as cool as I imagined it would. So I was all, "Do you think my desire for white ink demonstrates a failure to commit?" SPOILER ALERT: It's in white ink. And Tattoo Artist Geoff was all, "Ummmmm no?" And I was all, "Cause really, I'm not afraid to commit, I just got married, dude. And also I have another tattoo. And it's black. And I'm totally willing to pull down my pants and show you." And he was all, "Ummm." And Lauren was all "HA! And I'M the crazy one?" SPOILER ALERT: Yes, she is the crazy one. And I was like, "CAUSE I WILL TOTALLY GET THIS TATTOO IN RED, YO." And Tattoo Artist Geoff was like, "Ummm. No, I like the white, it'll work." And then I was thrilled because Tattoo Artist Geoff pretty much told me I'm awesome. SPOILER ALERT: My new tat is totally awesome. "Tat" is what we insiders say for "tattoo." I shouldn't have to explain these things to you people. GAH.

So then Tattoo Artist Geoff bandaged up my wrist and sent Lauren and I on our merry way. SPOILER ALERT: It's on my wrist. And then when B came home from work I held my wrist up and was like, "LOOK WHAT I DID TODAY!" And all the color drained from his face and he just stood there in the doorway staring at me and I think he started to cry and I was all, "What? It's totally discreet. It's in white ink. You should get one too and then we'll have matching tattoos like an awesome married couple." And B was all, "You got a TATTOO?" And was totally mad at me because my "fucked up sense of humor" is not amusing or something like that, whatever THAT means, but I think he's just jealous that I have another awesome tattoo and he only has one.

And yes, I will post a picture. But not until it's totally healed. Because tattoos done in white ink take a little bit longer to look healed than those done in black or color, mostly because it's white. Trust me, you'll love it.


Hilary said...

Oh, I have always been curious about tattoos in white ink! I hope the healing process is going well. I was just in MA and honestly, as a die-hard Yankees fan, I love Boston so I am sure you will love MA, too, in time. Also: can we still be friends even though our teams are facing off in the World Series?! Please say yes!

Bridget said...

@Hilary, YOU ARE DEAD TO ME. jk jk. I'll think about it.

2 Vermont Chitlins said...

long time, first time commenter...

1)I'm from MA, it's not so bad and the area you are looking in is sweet.

2)I don't live in MA anymore ;)

3)I have multiple tats (cuz I'm in the know) in white....and they are the shizz.

4)Congrats on your wedding...I got married the same age as you, almost the same date and moved for my husband as well...:)

sheila said...

you totally tattooed my name on your wrist, didn't you???? i know you did.

sheila said...

ps. don't move don't move don't move!!!!! :-( who is gonna babysit my kids and corrupt them??? who will teach them that farting is hilarious and that poop is not just a necessary bodily function, but also a hobby!??!

LaurMo said...

i may be the crazy one.... but you are the bad influence! :) i am so glad it was you to help take my tattoo V card.

rory said...

White ink?
I've never heard of totally white ink tats- I must be completely out of it.
Interesting though, I look forward to the pictures.

Deidre said...

If I were to get a tat (which I won't because I am a delicate flower and allergic things like laundry detergent, imagine my reaction to INK?) I'd totally get it in white ink. Can't wait to see a pic!

Ugh, moving is soooooooo stressful. hope the emotional rollercoaster flattens out. and if it doesn't just start singing that disco hit, "roller coaster of love" it always makes me feel better.

mic said...

ohh fun! i have a white tattoo on my wrist. I showed it to ppl before it healed and everyone thought I had myself branded. tats = awesome. branding? not so awesome. imho.

cant wait to see pics!

well read hostess said...

Yeah. Nice try. We're going to need to see it. ASAP.

LiLu said...

Ooooo. If I had the balls to get one that's totally where- and the color- I would do!

Bridget said...

@ mic, it totally did look like I got branded. It's doing better now.

@WRH, soon, I promise, mother.

Jaime said...

Can't wait to see this tattoo. I have one tattoo and always thought about getting another. Just don't know where I would get it and what I would get.

Where is this tattoo place anyway?

Lora said...

I want a white wrist tattoo, but my skin is so pale that I'm not sure it would show up.
I want an all white skull and cross bones, jolly roger, if you will.

I have my son's name inside my left wrist, and a little blue star inside my right one, and I think a skull would fit in there somewhere.

enough about me, pics please!

Jess said...

@lora, white tattoos actually show up better on people with paler skin. I had to go to three tattoo places before they would do mine because they said I was too tan and it would be a waste of money.


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