So this morning I did just that. I've been a tea drinker my entire life. Whenever I needed a little caffeine lift, tea was my go to pal. The first time I ever had a cup of coffee, I ordered a small Dunkin D's sometime around 10 a.m. Despite a long day of heavy drinking, I was still awake, wild-eyed and wiry at 4 a.m., pulling pepperoni off of pizzas and placing them over the eyes of sleeping friends. This might go without saying, but I am very easily affected by stimuli.
Because I've always been a every-once-in-a-while coffee drinker up until now, I'd never actually brewed a pot of coffee myself before this morning. Ever. After thoroughly examining the instruction booklet, I hooked up the coffee maker and gave her a little whirl. The minimum number of cups, I noticed, was four. Four cups, huh? Usually, I just drink a small cup and I'm good to go. But four? Welp, waste not want not is what I always say, so four cups it was. Down the hatch before I was even out the door to catch my train. And holy shit, ya'll I think I'm having a heat attack.
My heart is beating faster than a racehorse's, my hands are shaking like a stroke victim's, and I'm pretty sure I'm taking REALLY LOUDLY. AND DAMNIT I JUST REMEMBERED I FORGOT MY BANANA.
Oh shwell, it's Friday. And what does that mean? IT'S NUDE TANE TIME.
Whatever you do this weekend, I hope you are enterTANEd. Maybe even nudely. Tweet