Just Avoiding Mother's Day for Another Year. Alternate Title: I Definitely Shouldn't Post This

After a night of heavy drinking this weekend, B decided to take Rooney for a hike through the woods and I decided to tag along, hoping the fresh forest air would exorcise the demons that were currently taking a pickaxe to my brain.

B: WOW you are moving really slow today.

Me: It's not me. It's the tequila. Plus I'm having some major cramping issues right now in my abdomen.

B: Strange, I thought it would be in your liver.

Me: Oooh gah I bet it's cancer. Whenever I have stomach issues I assume the cancer's back to get me. Or maybe I'm pregnant ... Jesus Christ, I hope it's cancer.

B: You are one of the worst humans I have ever met.

Well would YOU want to find out your were with child the night after a tequila binge?

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