Wednesday, September 29, 2010

My baby love done got married!

It's taken me three days to get this post out the door because I have oh so much to say about this wedding and every time I started writing about it I just couldn't get it right. So I'm just going to write and stop self-editing because in real life, gah knows I don't self-edit because I'm sort of an asshole. And we're off ...

You know those friends who have those families that immediately make you feel like you're one of them? Like you could just show up any hour of the day or night, grab yourself a snack and plop down on the couch to watch trashy TV and no one would bat an eyelash? If I had a dollar for every time one of Lauren's parents came home and found me sleeping on their couch, I wouldn't have to be digging through my purse right now to find enough nickles for the vending machine.

And last weekend, my baby girl got marrrriiieeeddd.

Now, I'm not saying that my friends are all beautiful people, but ... actually, yes I am saying that. Is she not the most beautiful bride?!

The weather in Philadelphia was perfect. The dresses were elegant. The venue was breathtaking. And my baby girl got married!

We danced the entire night and I didn't even break anything, which is always a win in my book. The food was delicious. The music was great. And my baby girl got married!

As we all get older, many of us are at that point where we've gone through experiences that have tested our bravery, our beliefs, and our strengths. And when something like a wedding comes around, sometimes someone is missing. When Lauren's mom passed away in December, many of our minds went right to the upcoming wedding. But because of the grace and love of her family, there were pieces of her mother that were very much there. While there was undoubtedly heartbreak mixed in to this very important day, there was so much love. I get all melty just thinking about it.

And because of that, it was the perfect place for B and I to be as we celebrated our own first anniversary as a married couple. As a bridesmaid, I got to spend the entire day with the bride, reliving what it takes to get married. Not to mention, to be back in Philadelphia with our best friends who were all with us on our day, celebrating the love of Lauren and Mike was a reminder of what it felt like the day we were married. And it was amazing.

And now, the highlights reel.

9 a.m. Arrived at Lauren's for hair and makeup.

10:30 a.m. Finally got around to getting said hair and makeup done after ceremonious stuffing of the faces and girlie giggles because LAUREN'S GETTING MARRIEEEDD.

1:30 p.m. The bus is late. Picture time! The bus is late. How does a bus get fecking lost? Pictures, pictures, pictures! Clean that lipstick off your teeth you look like a hooker.

2 p.m. Bus arrives. Make it to church approximately 3 minutes late. NO NEED TO PANIC. GAME TIME. LAUREN AND MIKE ARE MARRIEEDDD.

5 p.m. Arrive at Please Touch Museum for photos and reception. Greeted by dozens of ethnically diverse children parading through the grand foyer of the children's museum banging drums and shaking tambourines. Get dirty looks from mothers after frantically taking pictures of said children because there are few things in this blessed world of ours I love more than little black children shaking tambourines. Overcome with cuteness and consider pulling one in for a hug. Decide against it as mothers often don't take kindly to strangers grabbing their children. Take bridal party photos on museum's carousel. Look around and realize bridal party is behaving worse than ethnically diverse children shaking tambourines.

6 p.m. Cocktail hour. Mix and mingle. Force B to take multiple pictures at carnival-style photo stands BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY, B, THAT'S WHY.

7 p.m. Party time. Make grand entrance on Michael's back. Kick off heels because good LAWD my puppies are barking. Dinner and dancing. Officially the first couple out of our seats as B leads me to the dance floor for the first slow song. How cute is he?!

Sexiest man I know. He's totally practicing for later. HAHA just kidding. We all know I was starfishing with a bag of Doritos by the time I was put to bed.

10 p.m. After hours on the dance floor with Lauren and friends, drag B to the photobooth to take drunk photobooth photos BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY, B, THAT'S WHY.

11 p.m. Reception ends. B is tired. Force him to board big yellow school bus to after party BECAUSE THIS IS NOT JUST A NIGHT OUT, B, THIS IS LAUREN MORAN'S WEDDING THAT'S WHY. Play Pass the Bottle of Wine on bus. Take it to "that level."

12 a.m. Proclaim to all who will listen that B is being passive aggressive because he does not want to continue to drink with me. Verbally accost him when he informs me that I am misusing the phrase "passive aggressive." And slurring.

1 a.m. Call my mother for a ride home. Kiss B because it's officially OUR FIRST ANNIVERSARY! Love you, B! Go to bed ... with a bag of Doritos.

PHEW. I broke into a sweat just remembering those highlights. I need a drink and a nap now please. On second thought, I'm fairly certain my mother is preparing to check me into rehab, so let's just go with the nap for now. For the record, I'm fully aware that this post doesn't really make sense, and while I'm not really okay with that per se, I'm too lazy to make it coherent.

I can't believe my LaurMo is married. I'm so sad it's over. I wish she could get married every weekend. Le sigh. CONGRATULATIONS, LAUREN AND MIKE. Love you guysssssss!


Falko said...

What a terrible wife! I think B deserves "The Three B's".

Kater said...

I can't believe the amount of Prendie/Bonner peeps in these pics. DELCO unite. I love your drunken antics, Bridget.

Bridget said...

@Falko, does this have anything to do with buttsex?

@Kater, did you know that I own a shirt that just says "Delco?" I wear it all the time in MA because no one knows what it means ...

Falko said...

The 3 B's:
Back Rub
Blow Job
Breakfast in Bed

foolery said...

My GAHHHH you're funny, Bridget. Sounds like a great time. Also very impressed that you remember any of it, what with the Pass the Bottle game and all. : )

Bridget said...

@Falko. Fine as long as we're not talking buttsex.

rory said...

The Three B's???
Who knew?
I'm thinkin' Miss Carol's a terrible wife too.


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