You know I don't speak Spanish

I took Spanish classes for, like, six years and I actually used to be fairly proficient. When I went to the Dominican Republic for four weeks to build houses and work in a church, I actually survived the better part of the trip speaking nothing but Spanish. But it's been a good four years since I've tried to say much of anything en Espanol, save for the occasional puta sucia, which, by the way, a nun taught me in high school. The closest I usually get to the language these days is when I wear my favorite gold hoop earrings and my grandmother calls me a Latina.

But I digress. Actually, I haven't even started this post yet so is that technically even a digression? From nothing? Who wants more wine?

Lora over at Jakezilla honored me with The Proximity Award, for blogs that "invest and believe in proximity" with bloggers who "aim to find and to be friends." This is totally messing with my goal of building traffic by pissing people off, so clearly I'm not doing a good enough job. Yo, Lora, yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars. Also, I made out with your dad last night. He says hello.

I think maybe Lora was just confused because THE AWARD IS IN SPANISH. And like I said, I'm a little out of practice, but I'm pretty sure that new award over on the right sidebar there, the one with the butterfly and the empty paper towel roll, says This blog sucks so bad it's fucking AWESOME. Kind of like Snakes on a Plane.

Thanks, Lora! This really is better than the Oscars. I'd like to thank my mom and dad, for shelling out mad dough every year so I could go to school and learn to write, and always encouraging me to reach for my dreams. B, for always being there for me. Rooney, for providing countless hours of bad dog blog fodder. And Lora's dad, for providing an unforgettable night last night. Call me.

As part of the award, bloggers are then supposed to choose eight other blogs who they believe are spreading the proximity love. Naturally, since I can never make up my mind about anything, it was difficult for me to choose only eight. Some of these bloggers I actually have met in real life, and can vouch that they are pretty good at that "friend" thing. Plus, they write pretty kickin' blogs. Others, I haven't actually met, but maybe I feel like we have. Or I wish we have. Or sometimes I sit outside their houses and watch them from their windows and pretend we have.

Either way, they're blogs that I read regularly and genuinely enjoy, and now you can too.

Hippo Brigade because she's feisty.

Lemonade & Kidneys because she once fed me the most delicious cake I'd ever had in my life and also she's strong, opinionated, and generally awesome.

Me, My Dogs, My Life because she's all about the chaos.

Simply Nutmeg because I have a crush on her husband because she's a talented writer who can tackle any topic, and she makes me laugh.

Spinning Yellow because I've only known her for a few weeks, and I already admire her for her strength.

SWOPE Files because I feel like we did know each other, we'd be great friends.

Well Read Hostess because she really does host a great party, and she constantly makes me laugh.

3 continent family for documenting the ups and downs with grace and beauty.

And if Lora hadn't given this to me, I totally would have given it to her, so don't forget to check out Jakezilla because she puts the kill in Killadelphia. By that I mean, she rocks.

Now that I've gotten that goo out of my system, I'm gonna have to walk to the office and punch someone in the face now so I feel better about myself. Maybe shove an old woman or something. Or call the cute Asian man on the corner a motherfucker. I feel better already. Tweet

UPDATED AGAIN: A weekend of love with Yellaphant

This weekend was all about love. And because Saturday was Valentine's Day, B put his years of practice of perfecting the way to my heart to work for the entire weekend. He bought me flowers cooked me dinner gave me fancy jewelry pumped me with booze and let me have my way for a full 48 hours.

On Friday B met me at our corner pub after work for happy hour. I love happy hour. And after a few drinks, we decided that we enjoyed this happy hour so much that we would stay for a few more drinks and maybe a cheeseburger or two. Which we did. And before we knew it, it was late and we were on the couch watching episodes of Always Sunny in Philadelphia and we love Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Then on Saturday B sent me to the liquor store to pick out a bottle of wine for the night's dinner and I love going to the liquor store to pick out wine. And for me, choosing the right bottle of wine is kind of like eating potato chips. I can never buy just one.

Then there was dinner. And besides the delicious wine there was also food. And oh my gah the food. And one bottle of wine and some sauteed tilapia and grilled flounder later, we were on our way to the Ben Folds concert because B got us Ben Folds Ray LaMontagne tickets for Valentine's Day but we decided to head down to see if we could scalp a couple tickets anyway. We couldn't. But remember that bottle of delicious wine we just drank? We still had fun standing in the snow together.

So we went to the bar. Our favorite bar. And we talked and talked and talked and laughed while enjoying large glasses of heavy beer. And not only do we love laughing, but we love good beer.

And the next day, after a night of doing all those things we love, we did even more things we love. B went to play paddle tennis for the afternoon, and I spent the afternoon drinking cosmos with some fellow bloggers. Because after doing this blogging thing for a little bit of time now, I've found that the best part of the whole process is definitely getting free tampons connecting with people. So when Bossy (marry me, Bossy?) invited me to little meeting of bloggers, I proposed jumped at the chance.

Spending the afternoon in a room with intelligent, irreverent, and funny women was exciting. I met the ladies behind i am bossy, Well Read Hostess, Simply Nutmeg, Spinning Yellow, A Child is Born, Lemonade and Kidneys, The New Girl, and more but I can't remember the blogs that I'm forgetting right now because yesterday I was feeling the effects of something I like to call I drank far too much last night and while all the other ladies in the room were operating at a tick tick tick tick tick pace, I was feeling a bit more like tick ... tick ... ti ... ck, which is why those cosmos really came in handy. And by the end of the afternoon, I was in love. Marry me, ladies?

And after only knowing them for one day, they've already taught me a valuable lesson: I am not ready to have babies and could you please pass the booze? So be prepared to hear more from this growing group of bloggers because we've got plans. And as soon as we figure out what they are, we'll be all over them and I promise you there will be a lot of pants shitting when we are.

Updated: Now that I've had a few cups of coffee and I'm well into the midst of Monday, I remember who I forgot to remember in my haze of fatigue and cosmopolitans. Say hello to MemeGRL, Dream Kitchen, and Mothers of Brothers.

Updated Again: Take a look at Bossy's Favorite Things today for some photos of the group of nauseous women. And only one of them is pregnant. Tweet